


Alive

by xbechloex



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Murder, Murder Squad haha, haha i hate myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2015-07-03
Packaged: 2018-04-07 09:35:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4258407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xbechloex/pseuds/xbechloex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They're all dead hahaha fuck me</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alive

**Author's Note:**

> This beautiful piece of work is inspired by the heartbreaking theories that happened after episode 10 in my Creampuff Skype Squad group chat. Things that you see that are in italisized form on their own line flashbacks of sorts (kind of like flashes of things in the past) by the way.

It was quiet. Too quite. The air held an intensity that could never be described in books, in movies, in poems. The two parties in the room were frozen- frozen in their positions, frozen to the floor. Neither even dared to breathe, and one didn't dare to lift her eyes to the other. Instead, her eyes were glued to her hands. Her hands, so long and spindly, that were covered in that forbidden, succulent substance she hated herself for wanting more of. It stained her hands, her clothes, her face. It stained all the way to her mouth, open and gleaming with the whites of her feral teeth. It ran down the sides of her face, dripping the only way fresh blood can, and-

  _Plop._

-into the sea of red on the floor.

 "Y-you-" even as the broken whisper sliced the ringing silence, she still couldn't look up. "You k-illed them." The voice was shaky, she dared not look up, not when she knew exactly what emotion would be flying through those eyes.

  _Plop._

She didn't breathe, not like she needed to, but the urge was getting increasingly harder to fight. Her eyes burned with unshed tears-

_Vampires don't cry!_

-tears that she knew would come tumbling out anytime now.

 "Y-you-" the voice hiccupped. She stared at the pool of red below her. Dark red. Light red- "-I-"

  _Ginger._

A squeak was heard from her right and then-

_Thump._

That was the sound that caused her to finally snap her eyes to the other figure, now soaked in blood, lying against the wall next to the grandfather clock. Black, seemingly soulless eyes met wide brown ones full of-

 " _You killed them!_ "

- _fear_.

 "Y-you-" She tensed at the up-and-coming words even she herself could taste on the other girl's tongue.

_But she was my terrible roommate._

 "You _monster!_ "

Her slightly beating heart clenched at the words- no amount of preparation could stop that- and air was forcibly pushed through her mouth. All of her walls came crashing down as she fell to her knees, splashing into the mess of red and pink. Her eyes burned- burned with the tears that were flowing freely down her broken face, burned with the pure hatred of who she was- what she was- and what she had done. Her fingernails dug into the blood-soaked hardwood, splintering the floor as easily as that one word-

_You're nothing but a monster!_

-that one word that had sent her to hell, was screamed again.

Her ears were ringing, so much more than any of her sister's dreams had ever done to her. She couldn't breathe, she could only hear-

 "Mattie... Mattie was right.." The voice- _her_ voice- was shaking with that dreaded emotion, that one feeling she _swore_ she would never cause.

  _Mircalla, run! Monster in the ballroom! Run, my baby!_

 "A human like me.."

  _Oh, Millarca, you little monster._

 "..could _never_ be with a _monster_ like you."

    _A creature of the night._

_A freak._

_An imbalance of nature._

_An undead fiend from the pits of hell._

A slammed door jolted her out of her memories, but only into the reality of the current moment that was more of a nightmare than she had ever faced.

  _Monster._

She couldn't help it; the scream bubbled up inside her painfully. A scream full of desperation. Full of self hatred. Full of heartbreak. It ripped through her chest, through her throat, and pierced the air so sharply, she could feel the ground around her cower from it. Then it broke into a horrendous, gut-wrenching sob that led her to collapse into herself, surrounded by red. By pink.

By the flesh and blood of-

 J _ust because she's a vampire doesn't mean she's up to no good._

-of whom were once-

  _Oh, that's probably just Carmilla._

-her _friends_.

  _Fang face. Xena._

She lay in the red, thrashing her limbs in pure exasperation. Their blood caked her body, her hair, her teeth.

She hates her. Laura hates her. Her friends are dead. She killed them. She was truly, irrevocably-

_Mircalla!_

_Millarca!_

_Marcilma!_

_CARMILLA!_

-A monster.

Not even the years trapped underground in her old lover's blood could compare to this level of torture she had inflicted upon herself.

Because she can still breathe, she can still feel her near-dead heart faintly beating, and she can still feel her heightened senses over evaluate her surroundings.

But she is nowhere near being alive.


End file.
